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I Never Lie, I Act ~ Ezio X Thief!Ninja!Reader P.4

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~~~~~ Ezio's P.O.V. still~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I leaned over the side of the bed to see Um holding her head, rocking back and forth slowly, and mumbling to herself in a way he would have called panicked if it were anybody else.

"I didn't see him.... I didn't see him because he's not here. He's not laying half naked in my bed watching me talk to myself... I'm talking to myself, I guess I should stop that... Yeah, I'll stop that now. Like, right now. Now!" She pinched her arm, awakening herself from her trance-thingy.

She stood and peeked through her fingers, closing her eyes embarrassedly when she had apparently confirmed that I was in fact there. She moved her hands slowly and stared at me with a very unpleasant look -whether it was distaste or confusion I couldn't tell. I, in turn, gave a look of mock-hurt.

"But, bella~! Do you not remember what we did last night? I know I won't soon forget~"

She turned just a fraction of a shade redder before scoffing, "Damn right you won't. There's nothing to remember. And if we had done anything it wouldn't just be your top half that's bare. Your loss." She smirked momentarily, then sighed. "I'll be right back. Either stay put, or...” She grasped for a threat. “Just stay put."

She strode out of the room and closed the door behind her. I fell back on the mattress and turned my head to the side, staring at the odd, impossible pattern of anchors on fabric. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Reader's P.O.V.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Working your way through your ridiculously clean house, you found your bug-sweeper in its place in the living room, looking like nothing more than a paperweight. Handling the small cube of metal, you did a sweep and were slightly surprised when you found three in just that room. Your enemies were slacking off.

There was a tiny camera on the bookcase, an audio device programed to make the sounds of breaking glass and heavy breathing on the mantle, and a small, almost invisible strip of metal -extremely sophisticated recording device- stuck on the wall behind the couch. This is what happened when you weren't here for a day. You just hoped for the sake of your enemies that they hadn't touched your Firefly DVDs.

You moved on to the kitchen, automatically doing more than one sweep of the house. There was no way that was it. There were always more.

A camera in the smoke detector, a recording device on the fridge, whoever this was seriously knew what they were doing. You made quick work of gathering them all up, disabling them, and putting them all in your pocket, just in case they could be used to trace the owner. Even the smartest people made simple mistakes, and by the looks of the stuff you'd found, this wasn't your average stalker. You'd made many enemies in fairly high places in your line of work. You wouldn't put it past a one of them to break into your house while you were mysteriously transported into the past.

There weren't many bugs in the other rooms- at least, none that your sweeper caught anyways. You planned on doing a more thorough search later. Now all you had left to sweep was the bedroom. Or, your bedroom, rather. You had already swept the guest room. You made a mental note to put the smug, hot asshole in that room later.

You opened the door again, peeking around the frame of the door out of habit, and noted Ezio lying on the bed. You weren't about to assume that he was sleeping, but you didn't disturb him as you continued with the search. 

Five bugs. This guy was going all out. Then again, it may not be just one person. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get one step ahead of you, after all.

Two cameras in the closet -both aimed perfectly so you'd have no place to hide-, a recording device in the night stand drawer, another audio device, this one programed to make different sounds, but it'd have to wait until later, just in case he was sleeping.

The last bug was in the ceiling fan, in one of the light bulbs. Literally in it. From the looks of it, it was a dual audio/video collector.Very high-tech, very hard to come by and very, very expensive. You grinned slyly.

This would be fun.

You did what you could to disable the four devices while making sure they could still be used if need be. Wrapping the rich-man-tech in an old scarf, you set it aside and gathered the rest of the bugs up, moving them all to a small loose tile in the wall. Ironically enough, there hadn't been a bug there. It was where you generally stored the disabled ones.

Replacing the tile, you stood and stretched. Turning, you went over to the bed and poked Ezio's shoulder.

When he opened his eyes and looked at you, his eyes were glowing. Taking a step back, you wondered if they just did that involuntarily when he slept, or if he was literally trying to see the unseen. You sucked in a breath involuntarily -something that you didn't let happen too often, but you attempted to covered up your hesitation by narrowing your eyes and opening your mouth wider to yell at him. You proceeded to close your mouth though, as you hadn't thought of anything to yell at him. You opted for a simple, "Get up."

He answered with a cheeky grin, most likely thinking he could read you like a book, and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He placed his legs suggestively close to yours. You raised an eyebrow and tilted your head slightly, daring him to try something.

He ignored your challenge and stood. You looked up defiantly and met his glowing gaze. It was almost as if he had X-ray vision.

"What are you smirking at?" he asked, coolly.


"A joke you wouldn't understand in the slightest~" you said breezily, as you turned and headed for the kitchen, knowing he was following you. 

You got out a pan and turned on the electric stove, grabbing four eggs from the refrigerator. As you began to scramble them, he came up beside you and watched the pan with interest, his eyes back to normal once more.

"Don't touch that. It's hot," you told him once the eggs were done and the pan was off the burner. As you ate, you used your fork to point out a few of the essentials.


"Food." You pointed at the fridge.

"Water." Sink, then the cabinet where the cups were -which was conveniently left open by your incredibly smart past-self.

"Bathroom." You gestured down the hall and finished eating. "I will, if needed, show you how to work it, but I refuse to be in there while you go. Leave the seat up, and  you will not have any use of a certain body part for a long time. If you're still here tomorrow, I'll show you how to use the stove. Until then, I'll get you a shirt and a pair of jeans so you don't stand out so frickin' much. Your room is right next to mine for as long as your with me, but I've got one rule.” You paused, glaring at him ominously. “Once we say good-night don't you dare bother me unless you've got a damn good reason. Meaning you're bleeding profusely, the house is on fire and/or there's activity in the house that shouldn't be."

You stood, put your plate in the sink and started down the hallway to your room, but stopped and turned around. "Actually, I've got two rules. Don't touch anything if you don't know what it does. Ever."

With this, you spun on your heels and closed the door behind you. You began to change out of the absurdly heavy skirts into your casual wear. Sliding into a pair of bluejeans which fit you but were loose enough to cover your feminine legs, you bound your chest securely. Then you putting on a large, long-sleeved shirt with elastic at the wrist so as to cover your wrist daggers. Grimacing at the mess your hair had become, you brushed it out then grabbed a masculine, brunet wig out of your drawer and stuffed your hair into it, making sure not to leave any out.

Hiking up your pant leg, you strapped your trusty, yet tiny, pistol to your ankle. You'd had it specially made for you. With an innocent water-gun appearance, it shot like a sniper and always made the enemy get overconfident. And overconfident was good. You turned back to your closet and grabbed a button up shirt and pair of jeans that looked like they might fit Ezio. Giving yourself a last once over, you headed out of your room.

Not seeing Ezio is the kitchen or the living room, you headed for your research room . He was there, standing in front of your desk, hands clasped behind his back, staring intently at your computer. You cleared your throat and smirked as he whirled around and gave you a look of astonishment.

"Exploring, are you?" you asked, arching an eyebrow.

His eyes got even wider. "Um...?"

"Call me (male name)," you said, smiling as his look of embarrassment turned to one of confusion. "Before you ask, no that's not my real name. It's close, though. I use it whenever I need to be of the opposite gender. Simple disguise."
He nodded slowly and glanced down at your desk again.

"If (male name) isn't your real name, is it (name which you used for your job)?" He asked, gesturing to a letter on your desk addressed to that name.

"Nope," you smirked. "In fact, (male name)'s closer." You tossed him the shirt, the pants and a "Get dressed' over your shoulder as you strode out of the room and the front door.

Thanks to a rumor started by your only partner, everyone thought you were an extremely indecisive transvestite whose real gender was unknown. Not a single one of your immediate neighbors questioned your various 'looks' at all. More gossip for them, right?

Said partner was waiting for you, leaning on your mailbox. To anyone else, this looked perfectly normal. To you, it looked particularly funny, but you withheld your smile. Well, your real one, anyway.

He looked very normal- that is, if you didn't know he was a guy. A simple grey dress that hugged his straight-as-a-board waist and hips and went down halfway past his knees with. No man would look twice, but it wasn't so UN-attractive that women would gossip. An average length brunette wig rested on his head that was the exact color of yours.

It was odd, but the two of you had never had to coordinate disguises. He typically disguised as a female and you a male as it made it easier to confuse people. The color of wigs and clothes was usually just amazing sub-communication. You remembered the first time it happened and fondly recalled how it was almost a prediction of the amazing trust and friendship which was to bloom.

You walked up to him and waved, smiling your best guy-smile. He smiled back, very femininely, and held up your mail. There was a package which you knew from experience contained your satchel and next assignment as well as the regular junk-mail that everyone got. Even for a ninja, there was no escape from the junk mail.

Your eyes scanned for any cameras that may be lurking, and you walked slightly faster. Setting a hand on his shoulder, you pecked his cheek and took your mail. Smiling a warm but barely fake smile, you wrapped an arm around his waist and started guiding him inside.

"Hey, sis! How's Dad?" you asked in your 'guy' voice, smile still in place. It was the beginning of your code for "What's been happening?"

"He's doing great, and Mom said to say 'They miss you, but hope you're doing well,'" he answered finishing the code with "Nothing much, but we need to talk."

"That's good." You reached the doorway and let him go through first. The minute the door closed, your smile dropped and his turned into a much more manly grin.

"Your guy voice always cracks me up, (job name)." Your partner, Ben, stated, shaking with withheld laughter. His Texas drawl became as thick as ever.

You smirked, genuinely. "You're female voice doesn't exactly sound like bunches of lilies either, Dillon."

A throat was cleared and you both turned to see Ezio standing in the hallway, looking very confused. You smiled widely, boy he was fun to mess with.

"Ezio, this is my partner in crime, Dillon. And, before you ask, no that's not his real name. I'm not at liberty to tell you that." You winked at Ben.

It was an ongoing joke between the two of you to only use your job names unless the other gave them permission or they were about to die that had started from the first time the two of you had met. You and Ben had fought, spied and stole together for at least twelve years now, since you were fourteen, and you had called him by his real name twice. Once when the two of you had first met and hadn't exactly been best friends and again when he had been about to kill you -or tried- for fear of you betraying him.

"Dillon, this is Ezio. Don't ask what he's doing here, I'll explain it all later. Well, all that I can. Gimme the package."

You caught it from him and started walking to your living room. You heard Ezio follow you, but knew Ben was probably getting a sandwich or something from the kitchen. Extending a wrist-blade, you cut it open and grinned, choosing to ignore Ezio's glare.

You removed your satchel and immediately strapped it to your hips, before reaching back into the box and retrieving the neatly folded papers and folders containing information on your next assignment.

It was standard intel: a picture of your target and their home address, a file on him and where he might possibly be found alone, and files on what you were to steal and what cautions you needed take. You didn't bother looking at the picture just yet and went straight to what you'd have to steal.

A computer-looking device that probably wasn't a computer, said to belong to a high up society called the Templars, from whom, according to the document, the device had been stolen. It was said to be powering a larger device called an 'Animus.'

From what the document said you had one week to decide weather or not to take the assignment. That didn't happen often, but it usually meant that why you could refuse was above your pay-roll. You shuffled through the documents but stood immediately, a cold feeling washing over you when you came to the picture of your target. Your eyes narrowed fractionally, and you stalked to the kitchen to where Ben was halfway through his ham-and-cheese to show him the picture. He choked.

The face in the picture was Ezio's, or very close to it, at least.

You took the photo back from Ben, and stormed back to Ezio, who had stood at your sudden mood swing. You crossed your arms and stared him down, your face blank. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and glanced at you nervously.

"Bad news?"

"Nope. Better than expected." You held out your hand to him, letting your eyes take on the most innocent look possible for you.

With a slightly questioning look he took your hand, probably wondering about the sudden change in heart as you led him by the hand into what you called your 'special' guest room.

It was top-of-the-line and custom-made for you. It stayed locked from both inside and out at all times unless you (or Ben) were the person who opened it. The knob had censors that scanned the inside of your palm instantaneously and no one got in or out unless you allowed it. Once he was in, you turned, bit your lip like your emotions were about to spill over and, grabbing his face between your hands, crushed his lips to yours.

When you felt him stiffen you pulled back immediately and swept his feet out from under him. While he was on the ground, you went over and closed the door. Ben knew the only other entrance and wouldn't bug you unless he thought you needed help. Once Ezio had stood up and regained his composure, he looked at though he was preparing for a fight. You simply smiled at him, slid down the door and sat cross-legged before tossing him the photo.

You studied his expression as it changed. He was either a very experienced actor or really didn't know what was going on. Your smile dropped.

"Desmond Miles."

He looked up at you, confusion clear on his face.

You narrowed your eyes. "If you're lying, you'll be sorry."

"Lying about what?" He glanced at the photo. "Why do you have a drawing that loo-" Your partner opened the other entrance on the roof with a huge grin on his face.

Completely ignoring Ezio, he hung upside down and began talking to you.

"I dunno where you found this one, (job name), but tell me he didn't just call that photo a drawing. Oh, and that's not him."

You sighed. "Fiiiiiiiiine... but what do we do with him now?" You grabbed hold of Ben's outstretched hand and let him pull you up into the air vents. While he reached back down to close the door, you crawled to the exit of the air vents and hopped out, landing in a crouch.

As you waited for Ben to come in and start explaining why Ezio really was Ezio, you decided you'd leave him in there a bit while you researched Mr. Miles.

He was a very busy man, especially recently, it seemed.

He had just returned from a trip to Italy, resided in New York. You wondered whether you should accept the case. You would have to pay for travel and all expenses, but the pay would be triple whatever you spent on the case.

At this point, Ben showed up and sat down next to you in the over sized chair. He was almost like your brother, and the fact that he was gay was awesome because he'd never once hit on you. You giggled when he squinted at the computer screen. You were always teasing him about the four year age difference between the two of you, and sometimes he played it up a bit. He let out a low whistle as he read what you'd found on Desmond.

"You found more than me! Congrats kiddo." He ruffled your wig and you glared at him playfully. Sticking out your tongue you stood up and plucked off his own wig between your pointer finger and thumb. He simply pouted and reached his hand up lazily. He was about two heads taller than you, a head taller than Ezio, and if he'd stood he could've easily taken it from you. He just didn't feel like it.

"You gotta pack. We're going to New York."

"Oh? We accepted the case?" He stood and took his wig back before getting up to go to his room. You followed him.

"Not yet, I wanna give this guy the U-scope."

"Ooooooo, that should be fun. Haven't done one 'a those in a while. We gonna use the HANT?" He had taken out his suitcase with spare clothes and was looking through them. "It's not in there, but I assume that means you have it....?" He looked to you expectantly.

U-scopes were the very basic info gatherers with a target, but could only be done with a single person, so weren't all the common. They usually included minor stalking, various accidental run-ins, befriending, if necessary. They also included, if you befriended the target, a nifty gadget simply called the HANT. It was an acronym, standing for Heavy Alteration of Neurological Terms. In other words, it gave you new memories or took away old ones for short periods of time. It also, for easy application purposes, looked just like a baseball cap. At Ben's expectant look you rolled you eyes and jerked your thumb over your shoulder.

"It's in my room. You really think I would loose it? Aren't you always calling me too clean?" You were rewarded with a smile and he shook his head.

"Yeah, 'cause I'm such a dirty slob."

You waved him of, smiling lightly. "Anyway, we've gotta get a plan together. Why is Ezio really Ezio?"

"Ah, yes, the money question. Well, for starters, I know where he came from, so you don't have to explain that to me. Well, I know now anyway. They, ” He gestured upward, clearly meaning the organization you both worked for “pulled a similar stunt on me a few years back, except I didn't bring anyone back with me." He flinched. "But.... that may have been because they didn't want me to. Anyways, I'm pretty sure we can trust this guy. He seems to adapt well, and, as long as he doesn't freak out at every corner, he should be fine on the mission. Maybe even useful."

You glared at Ben, to which he just shrugged and returned to shuffling through his suitcase, for no apparent reason other than to avoid your gaze. You sighed, "Fine." You could practically hear his smirk and called over your shoulder, "but if we're doing this one Rainbow-style, get to be the one who approaches him first." 
........Hai :iconsayhiplz: I'm not dead! I promise!
I just... couldn't get up the courage to post this :iconscaredplz: I feel really insecure about this one and would LOVE some feedback.
...So :iconimdeadplz: In return for the ultra long wait, I tried to make this one a bit longer, and having so many people eager for it I REALLY tried to make it good, but i think I may have tried a bit too hard, 'cause I feel.... Ugh >.<

Poor Ezio! Stuck in that room all alone while you and Ben pack! But, oh the fun he'll have with you (andBen;P) in New York~ Anyone curious as to what Rainbow-style is? You should be :mwahaha: It's important!
I would once again like to thank my WONDERFUL editor :iconaddictedtothescript: Because without her, *gestures dramatically upward* NONE of that would be as amazing as it now is. Go thank her.
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Mooore pls omgINCREDIBLE - BBiEaL [Baldi]